Major Blog Assignment: Who Am I?

This song I chose really reflects the deepest understanding I have of my most secret self. If you're reading this, just know that it'll be something you won't think that resembles me, but it's really my bottommost outlook of the way my life is, or the way I see it ever since I became a Hwa Chong student.

The lyrics to this song: Disturbia - Rihanna.
To go with the lyrics, here's the music video. It's a little disturbing though.



Here's my analysis of this song. If you've no idea how the lyrics reflect me, here's how:

From the first stanza, lines like ‘What’s wrong with me?’, ‘Why do I feel like this?’ and the declaration that ‘I’m going crazy now’, show constant self-reflection, which is something I always do. It’s just in me; I always evaluate. In this case, however, it’s someone who’s about to go insane; and it’s the time when self-evaluation gets more vigorous. The accompanied sounds are constantly repeated, and they sound just like a heartbeat going slightly out of pace; and its repetition aggravates the stress within this soul.

From the second stanza, as a student, stress usually does nothing but pile up. In this case, ‘no more gas in the rig; can’t even get it started’ is a metaphoric expression – ‘gas’ refers to energy and ‘rig’ refers to, in this case, myself. Always, I find myself getting drained by never-ending school commitments.

In the third stanza, ‘can creep’ and ‘close for comfort’ are examples of alliteration. The repetition of ‘it’ means influence, for my case. I’m easily influenced. Metaphors are used again to describe this ‘influence’: ‘thief’ and ‘disease’. From how influence can grab, consume and control me, a symbol is used to show how effective influence is on me.

In the next stanza, ‘Put on your brake lights’ is another metaphor symbolising hesitation and indecisiveness – yet another part of me. Indecisiveness and hesitation leads to destruction, as stated in the subsequent lines. For me, it’s always hesitation that leads to me losing opportunities. Nevertheless, when making decisions, one had ‘better think twice’ and ‘be wise’, hence a form of situational irony. Assonance is also used in the line ‘Your train of thought will be altered’. This line evokes the feeling of speed and prompts us to make decisions fast and wise.

In the fifth stanza, a line with a paradox embedded in a simile is shown here: ‘It’s like the darkness is the light’. This, besides adding negativity, contradicts each other as in darkness, there’s never light. This line reflects the kind of trouble I get into whenever I make a huge mistake.

This song follows a very depressing, pessimistic, and negative tone. The song’s chorus is repeated twice, including the sound of the heartbeat sung out, again adding to the severity of this insanity. After every repetition is another new stanza, but each of these stanzas only open up to a more depressing mood.

‘Faded pictures on the wall’ from the seventh stanza depicts faded memories, and forgetfulness alike. ‘Disconnectin’ all the calls’ shows attempts to isolate. This is what I usually do when I get into hot soup – isolate myself and try to forget everything. This is actually a way to escape, but usually to no avail, and hence comes a certain degree of madness. Also, a form a satire is used to ridicule those who are becoming insane: “Am I scaring you tonight?’.

In the twelfth stanza, ‘curse’ is a hyperbole as there is, in fact, no curse, but rather stress and depression. An attempt ‘to maintain but I’m struggling’ shows how difficult it is to get out of trouble once I’ve got into it.

One possible theme for this song would be ‘Insanity at its border’ as vivid descriptions are used so widely that insanity couldn’t possibly get worse. From the title of the song, ‘Disturbia’, is an incorporation of the word ‘Disturb’ and ‘Utopia’, which means a disturbed mind, and a mind can be interpreted as a utopia of activities, now all disrupted.



Learning Style: Intrapersonal
MIDAS Profiling Top Skills Identified:
- Interpersonal, Understanding People
- Interpersonal, Leadership
- Spatial, Artistic
- Spatial, Imagery
- Linguistic, Linguistic Sensitivity

For my response, here’s a short poem:

The World Revolves
By Yihan


It is when you feel so high
When you hit that low
The world revolves,
Pride comes before a fall
And so will our spirits be.

It is how a curse prevails,
And when it all reveals,
Watch trouble rotate
Greet Murphy and his Law,
Greet Murphy’s Law.

It is when you’re neglect,
O how the Sun shines
On those who regret
Regretted working with you.

It is when you need the warmth,
Yet the World gets in your face,
The agony to isolate,
Agonising anger
Agonising agony.

It is when you decide,
But the others preside,
Smell the Moon from afar
Signalling nightfall
Time to sleep
Step aside and let time decide.

It is when you feel so high
When you hit that low
The world still revolves,
Pride comes before a fall
Fall into your grave. And goodnight.



This is my mother’s response, directly from her words:


“From Mom:
Everyone has an inner self even his / her parents do not recognise. I am surprised by my child’s choice of the song, but if he thinks it is appropriate, then, this is an interesting, revealing activity for me.”


Courtesy of:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCt4mB2PGgc
http://www.elyrics.net/read/r/rihanna-lyrics/disturbia-lyrics.html